Watch Out For The Bear !

The wind is howling up here on the ridge with gusts up to 57 mph. Our house is moaning with each gust.
I can remember when I was a kid, I was told the moaning were the voices of the dead trying to speak.
There are times I think my folks just liked to scare the crap out of us. Can you imagine being sent off to bed with dead people screaming at your window! Or if you had been bad that day, the Devil was going to come out from under your bed and snatch you up, and then there was the bear hiding in the closet for really bad offences! When you are six or seven years old you would believe most anything your folks told you. Well, I survived the dead screaming, the Devil, and the bear in the closet somehow!
The family tradition died when we had our own children, no reading Grimm's Fairy Tales at bedtime for them. Hansel and Gretel were for daytime reading only!
The funeral home was another matter. There were times when we would have to call in an electrician or plumber. Game on! I would watch them work and strike up a conversation and then "Shush, did you hear that?" and then slowly leave them. I had planted the seed in their mind that something was there. It was amazing how quickly the work would get done and they were out of there! People, we knew were generally just spooked out about coming to a funeral home. There are a lot of stories over the years that I could share. I still laugh about them.
So the wind is howling, I hear the voices and laugh!
Watch out for the bear!

Restaurants Banning Kids

Now here's a new twist on things! Many of the restaurants in the Metro-Nashville area are banning small children in their establishments. Being the old geezer that I am, I'm all for it!
It's like being stuck on a plane for a few hours with some kid screaming and crying for the duration of the flight, same is true when you are paying premium bucks to eat out, and some little urchin throws a dinner roll at you from across the restaurant, upset because he/she has to eat their pea's!
I'm not anti-child, raised two of them myself, but when we did go to a restaurant to eat, they knew that the old man went by the adage that, children are to be seen and not heard! Now, that was a long time ago and times have changed, now days, the kids are running the show and the parents are frazzled because they just can't figure out what it will take to please little Johnny!
We recently went out to eat at just an average restaurant. Next to us was a young man of about eight, dining out with his parents. The kid rudely treated the server like a galley slave, demanding his meal be served quickly! Then layed his head on the table, playing with his silver ware. Once his food was served,  he said  he didn't like it and refused to eat a bite! His parents just went along with it, like the kid was some kind of young prince. It was frustrating to watch, but I blame the parents for not teaching their kid some basic manners, or maybe he had just completed the "Redneck In Training" program, and we are just behind the times!
So, Metro-Nashville, put that sign on the door! "No children under 10 years allowed." Fine with me!

The Halloween Mask

It was getting close to Halloween, a Holiday that all of us working at the funeral home tried to keep low key for obvious reasons. We tried to maintain the dignity of the profession as best we could.
However, one incident seems to stand out. One of the young apprentices had obtained a full head mask of a rough looking old man. As was the custom, after visitation was over for the evening, and the place cleaned and locked up, someone would go for a bag of hamburgers for all of us.
The young fellow told us he was going to hide in the bushes by the front door and when the runner for the hamburgers got back he was going to jump out at him. So out he went to hide by the front door!
Unknown to us, was that an elderly couple had gotten back into town late after a trip, and wanted to pay their respects to the deceased, hoping someone would let them in, so they could do this before going home.
Well, the kid with the mask only heard footsteps and jumped out of the bushes at them thinking it was the burger runner!
Later he told us, the old man grabbed his chest and fell to his knees, and his wife started screaming for all she was worth. We heard the commotion and let them in. They were soon back to normal telling us what had happened. We had a hard time keeping a straight face,. explaing that it must have been some Halloween trickster.
I think it scared the kid with the mask, more than it did the old couple! He thought he had given the old man a heart attack!
Later that evening we ate our very cold hamburgers, talked about what could have happened, all in the presence of a very young, scared, and quiet apprentice! Once the "shame on you" talk was finished, we all couldn't hold it any longer and laughed like Hell!
The legacy of that Halloween at the home lived on for years! Undertakers being dull and boring....if you only knew!!!!

Riding The Rails

I'm sure a few of you out there, can remember the mournful sound of a steam locomotive whistle in the night. It wasn't until many years later that I learned that each engineer had his own signature sound with the whistle. I had always thought the whistle would make those mournful sounds on it's own, but it took a special touch with the whistle chain to do the job with finesse!
Then there was steam every where, when those old locomotives would start to move, and the "I Think I can, I think I can" cadence of the steam pistons as they fed power to the wheel's.
Seems a though I was always around trains. My mother's whole family had always worked for the Illinois Central railroad, so I got plenty of exposure to the railroad world. After high school, I worked for the I.C.R.R. for a short time, had to keep the tradition alive, or so I thought! By then steam locomotives were just about gone, and the diesel locomotives were being phased in. I can remember two engineers, one steam, the other diesel, almost coming to blows over which could out pull the other. The steam was more powerful, hands down over the diesel units of the time, just a lot dirtier to operate!
After riding "The Extra Board" for a long time (railroad lingo for work for free, until you learn the job,) I finally got a job as a fireman trainee on a diesel locomotive. Since there was no fire to feed on a diesel, the job was to watch a few gauges, and make sure the engineer was well coffee'ed up! The job soon got boring, even though the pay was great. So I broke tradition, and bid the railroad farwell!
Next, I thought I try a little 'Undertaking"....that job lasted 44 years. Still, everytime I see a locomotive I can still feel the vibration of the steel floor plates under my feet.

Mountain Memories !

I think this is the first summer in my 68 years that we did not take an extended vacation! For the most part, it was just too hot to even think about several days on the road, and once arriving at a destination, the heat would wear you down pretty quickly.
Now that the weather has cooled down we  decided a "short" trip might be in order, maybe somewhere here in Tennessee. Since our state is long and narrow, that leaves two choices, Memphis (No way!) or the mountains of east Tennessee. We packed the Accord and headed for The Great Smokey Mountains!
I guess all of the other Geezer's must have had a call to the mountains as well! Gatlinburg was full of them, I'm talking busloads of  'um. Now,  I'm no spring chicken, but these folks were old.
We fit in pretty well with the "senior" scene, and to be honest, I'll take an old Geezer any day over a screaming, bratty kid in a restaurant!
I am still amazed at how the early settlers got across those mountains. I know there are Gaps here and there they could get through, but still, they had to be pretty tough to make it. I'm sure that holds true with the Rockie's as well. We had a great trip!
This coming week end there are all kinds of Bluegrass Festivals to go to. Now for us ridge runners, a good Bluegrass group is about as good as it gets! My good friend, Dapper Dan and I have thought about making an appearance as "The Deep Holler Boy's",  Dapper Dan on his Silvertone guitar can keep up with the best of them, but, my old five string banjo can't seem to get the right notes, or completely forgets what song we are playing! Must be "CRS" creeping up on me!  Some of these folks that play at these festival's, come out of the hills around here and have virtually been playing and singing Bluegrass music since they were kids! Tough acts to follow.
No frost yet here on the ridge, but you know it's coming. Keep your wood dry!

The List

It started out to be a good day here on the ridge. After dragging out of bed and heading straight for the recliner, I'm thinking, now this is the life! But then, on the end table was my list of "must do's"
before winter. Almost everything had been crossed off, but a quick scan of the list told me that pressure washing the house had not been accomplished yet!
I guess the reason it was glaring at me, is because I put this in the same category as watching paint dry!
Our home has vinyl siding, so when we bought it, I thought it would be maintenance free, WRONG!!
The crud in the atmosphere is drawn to it like a magnet. It looked clean, but the first swipe of the pressure washer told the story---- Covered with Big Al Gore's industrial pollution from some where!
Now, this chore is somewhat mindless and fall's into the same area as cutting grass, fence staining, and using the weed eater. But this requires the use of a ladder. O.K., I can handle that with out a problem, but throw in the meds I have to take in the morning...which make me about half drunk until about noon, and it can be a real challenge! I'm sure the neighbors who happen to see me stagger out to the mail box in the mornings, must think it's awfully early for him to have his snoot in the jug, bless their hearts!
It's going to be cooler tomorrow, so think I'll wait until after lunch to finish the job.

On another note, Dapper Dan over at The Cumberland Post, has published his latest book "Blood Country." I got a copy a few afternoon's ago, and once I got into it, I couldn't put it down. I finished it in the wee hours, and was still thinking about it after I went to bed! It's a great mystery novel, and Dapper Dan pulled out all the stops on this one!
Dan, I hope I didn't embarrass you, but it's a good one!

Wimpy's Delight!

I don't claim to be the "Duncan Hines" of hamburger joints, but here in the ridge, up by I-65, we have three. A Mickey D's, a Hardee's and a Windy's. The interstae keeps them all pretty busy most of the time, so if you can find a parking spot, a grease burger is in your immediate future!
Having slipped the surly bonds of my cardiologist, I have enjoyed what all three have to offer at one time or another. My conclusion is that Hardee's make the best burger for the buck. The "Thick Burger",
is so loaded with condiments that they will run down your arms if you are not careful. They taste like a hamburger should, with no guessing about the mystery meat inside the bun!
I don't think they are nationwide yet, so some of you might not be familiar with this chain, based out of Spartanburg, S.C., maybe there's one coming near you!!
Some years back a rumor got started about Windy's putting ground up worms in the meat, it almost put them out of business here in the south! The rumor was soon dispelled, and everybody was happy again.
The old standard, Mickey D's, is kind of like going to Mr. Walton's place. Never know what will drag in off of I-65. You can see it all, right there! I got to say their cardio-fry's are still the best of the chains! Bon Apatite', Y'all.